Taproot - welcome (2002)
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MINE When I look into your eyes you help me to realign and show me just how to be myself inside
I'm in control of everything it's taking time but that's okay I can bring you to my side
You're my blessing in disguise
You're mine
You're my blessing in disguise
You make me realize
Just how and where I want to be
Years from now
When my focal point is set on something I know I'll get It's not a question of how but more of when
You're a hot commodity the choice is mine and mine for keeps
POEM
Overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins
In an hour I'll be okay I pray that this pain will go away permanently someday
I've seen more than I should have to I've seen this on my own
This song is a poem to myself it helps me to live
In case of fire break the glass and move on into your own
Reoccurring drowning effect entrenching my brain
I hope you'll be okay someday so I can say that you moved on in the right way
We've seen this and we've breathed this and we've lived this on our own
EVERYTHING
Grown up an only child
One parent home my style was spoiled and doubted
Untrusted neglected by others around
You saved
You saved me
You were the only one there for me
Loved me dearly treated and supported me right through the thick and the thin
Look at me now
I hope you're proud
You're everything to me
Taught to be myself
Showed independent
Health alone through struggles made it work
Ourselves just a mother and child
ART
Occasionally I feel like the walls around are closing in on me
Physically I feel sumtimes I need the seclusion to be free
The irony at last I see
Reality is my perception
And my personality is my reflection
I must eliminate and change
Yesterdays pains today
I finally feel my wounds are healing, releasing and pouring out of me
The pressure's success becoming apparently a bigger part of me
I'm looking back at the things that I can't remove
My past's ok with me
The future's brighter than I could imagine it to be
MYSELF
If life was a game could I win in the end
And if I was sane would I fuck it up all over again
These questions and answers can help me redefine myself
And I thank your open ears for all their help
No-More-Shame
Is what I see for myself
I need to change for my health
I need a better way of life for myself
If I stay the same how long will I last?
Yet if I change will I still just be alone and typecast?
Professional answers can't help me to design myself
So I thank your open arms for all their help
Caressing gateways of the mind over matter through space as time
Heals wounds inspiring gifts of light inside myself just need some time
Just need some time to myself to figure it out
Cause I've got no doubt then when my dreams come true
It's because of you and the fact that I let you and I thank you
Inside ourselves just need more time
WHEN
Can't seem to find myself in this smoke filled room again
The lesson of being bored and naive so I been told
It's just my problem I succumb from the bottom
Looking up at the reflection above of those below
Yeah, well I know that there's no point in rushing I'll get my chance
When the time is right I'll get mine in no time I want to shine with you by my side when is how
Now and then
Then is now
Now for when
When is how I live
FAULT
Why did I let you inside my life?
How could I let you inside my body, my soul, my brain?
Now I can't make you go away you're driving me insane and inside out
I can tell it's meaningful and so hurtful there's no place just to hide
I can tell you right now
That this pain that I feel is not just inside of my mind
I can tell you right now
That it's physical and painful to be so vulnerable
How could I lie to myself again these bad decisions are a never ending story
You'd think I'd know by now just how to bow to smile
I can tell you this pain is so unreal can't help but feel left all alone
I can tell you to listen to me when I say to you
I know this is my fault
SUMTIMES
What I excel in best is my excessiveness self deprecation I hate myself sumtimes
How can I be down when all that I want is in my reach what is wrong with me?
(Fuck It)
Sumtimes I can feel so touch and go
Sumtimes as my self esteem is low
Well at least I know sumtimes I'm beautiful
Beautiful, and if I wasn't me I'd still laugh at me and point the finger and blame myself as well
I will not succumb to any of my peers I'm in control and I'm losing it
Sumtimes as my feelings coincide
Sumtimes while I struggle to survive
Well at least I know sumtimes I'll be all right
Sloth
BREATHE
Jealousy is raining down on me right now as the fear of losing you is setting in
But I'll continue to do my best although it's scary
Wondering if this will be my very first time to lose and not to win
And I've got no back up plan but I'm not a quitter
I try to scream but I can't breathe
Can anybody hear me?
I try to dream but I can't sleep
Can anyone shield me?
I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself
My pride's in the shitter but I'm not a quitter
Confidence is coming back to me right now and the strength in earning you I'm comin' to
Cause I've continued to do my best although it was scary
Wondering if this will be my very first time to win and not to lose
And I had no back up plan but I'm not a quitter
LIKE
You look like me
I'm sorry for you
You talk like me
I can't understand you
You think like me
You're fucking crazy
You want to be me
But that's okay because
You remind me of me
Softly
But only the good
Cause I'm just the mean
Hanging by a thread for your honor
Just helps me to see inside myself
You act like me
You're embarrassing
You talk like me
You don't listen
You think like me
You're so damn crazy
You want to be me But that's okay because
When these memories become liquid dreams
Just like fantasies and like fallen leaves I guess
All I need is to find my desires and set out to acquire them
DREAMS
Confusing reality I see myself but it's not really me
How could it be when I am me
I guess maybe it's just a dream
C'mon c'mon c'mon wake up wake up
And things aren't what they seem
C'mon c'mon c'mon wake up wake up
And people are fake too
I don't lie in dreams although I lye in my sleep
And I don't sleep to dream yet everything that I see is haunting
Bent truths controlling my world I see the depths of it my toes curl
I feel so sick I'm sick of this because I know that I'm not asleep
TIME
Time
Just a counter clockwise in motion
Time
It requires strength, love and devotion
Time
A dictation of every person
Time
Is used to make us free again
When we can turn back time
To anytime by moving on inside
Then will we still ask why all of the time
Or be just fine inside our minds
Time
Grows things older, faster when you find it
Time
Is a wasting away while we spend it
Time
A reflection of our pasts' with it
Time
Is used to make things right again
I can see this coming over my mind
Cause you're right Inside - My mind